Okay no. Fucking no. You think your sandwich is cute with peanut butter and jelly hearts, fucker? Well you’ll change your mind once you put it together and try to eat it. First you’ll get a mouthful of just bread and disappointment, then when you take another bite your mouth will be assaulted by copious the amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly and there won’t be enough bread to save you from it. A sandwich like that is what failure tastes like. The pb and j may be shaped like hearts but there’s no love in that sandwich. It’s about balance. Life needs balance, and so does your fucking sandwich. You disgust me. Don’t talk to me until you know how to make a proper sandwich.
(Source: music-singing-sun, via thesweetestserenity)
My friends mom is 4’9 and her dad is 6’5. Whenever she is mad at him, she grabs a chair to yell in his face. Everytime that happens, he’s laughing too hard for her to stay mad. They say it’s the only way they’ve been married for so long.
(Source: twodoorcinemaclubsoda, via hi)
on a scale from Matilda to Carrie how well do you handle having telekinesis and terrible parents
me every time there is a cat regardless of the situation (via spockular)
Persephone glides across an obsidian hall,
A string of daisies wound through her hair.
She smooths her calico skirt
And dusts off her straw hat
And kisses Death on his sunken cheek.
"I’m off, Darling.
(Source: , via nyctophilicwitch)
I thought this was going to be educational…. it was
(Source: humoristics, via 0riginal)